I swear to god I am going crazy!!

And I can;t take it anymore! "Toto, we are not in Kansas any more" I so want to click my heels 3 times and say "there's no place like home" OH crap but this is home. Lets start from the beginning. We moved into this house middle of November. Lots of space. Quite country setting. It's an old farmhouse on 100 acres of existing Christmas tree farm. Two Cows in the back yard and a duck pond. Great place for Thomas to run and play and get dirty. The patients I take care of aren't so bad compared to the old house I was at for 2 years. All is well, Unit a few days later....I see little black sugar ants. Honey we have ants. I call the owner of the home...."Hey we have ants". She knows. It's been a problem for a long time. Call the exterminator. They spray. I ask "will this fix the ant problem. He says "NO, This is for the roaches". Roaches Oh my yuck. Living in places like Guam and Hawaii and seeing Ginorous roaches I quickly decide I'll take ants over roaches anyday. Well evidently the spray works well. We have no roaches. Ants are driving me nuts, but hey. Time goes on. OK ants are driving me nuts. We have used Boric acid, Tero bait, Raid, Ortho...You name it we did it. About a month ago I was in a hurry, plopped a ream of paper down on top of my scanner for the printer. Seconds later all I see is a moving squiggling mass of black. 100's if not thousands of little black ants. I lift up my scanner. OMG they are totally colonized under their. Freaking the hell out screaming Raid, spraying, smashing with a shoe. YUCK I tell you. So as luck would have it the exterminator shows up about 2 hours later for the monthly service. I tell him about the ants and how gross it was and went on to explain how the ants literally did that nearly overnight, because just the week before my computer had a major crash and everything was unhooked and the tower taken into the shop. I had to move the scanner and printer to get the tower out. Crazy. So even though ant control is not on the house contract he treated for them anyway. Now mind you we are still seeing ants. The more we treat it seems like the worse they get. La-de-da. Time goes on. One day I say Honey those squirrels sure are loud. He says what squirrels. Now I see squirrels eating out of bird feeder and running along the gutters everyday so I assumed that the scurrying scratching sound I heard was them on the roof. WRONG Rats. OMG we have ants and rats. We so are NOT dirty people. Call the home owner........OHHHHH This too has been a problem. She tells me where there is a box of rat poison and how to set it up. Christ sake. So all night long you hear these vile creature scratching and doing their thing. I wake up in the morning and go into the walk in pantry and their is broken glass from them knocking jars off the shelves. Cereal and such scattered around. For something so small they sure do make a big mess. Hmmmnnn Kind of like Thomas. So Anyway Time goes on. Today I I again bump the scanner and guess what. Ants galore again. A nice little colony under it again. I can't take much more of this. I am about to set of a nuclear bomb in this house. So I deal with the ants, spray clean up Etc. I go out to the carport to drop some empty juice containers into the recycle bin. Hmnnn no recycle bin. It must be out on the street still since the trash came yesterday. I get it and bring it back to the carport I go to set it down next to the trash can and OMG. It is a big old nasty dead rat. Well at least I hope it is dead. I call hubby at work freaking out and telling him I am not touching it, that it is all his when he gets home. He is all cool as a cucumber and says " Well at least it went outside and died. Otherwise it would sit in the wall or attic and rot and stink. OK Ewwwwe I don't need that mental image. I told him I don;t care if it was outside A: it is still gross, and B: I hate the Rats and ants. Again cool as a cucumber he says "Well dear that is part of living in the country". I'm all like WTF ever, then take me back to the Damn city. and do it now! So now hours later after the rat scenario. I kicked back a cosmo, did a little victory dance and said to myself "Gotcha Sucka" and as I refilled the Decon poison for his little buddies I silently cursed them and said "Die Beyotches". So here I am. My happy moving to the county, isn't at all what I thought it would be. I wonder if the chick from Green acres had to deal with rats lol. For what it is worth I am so calling the exterminators to see if I can personally add ant control to the contract and pay for it myself. The homeowner says they won't guarantee against the ants, but they do the roaches. I'm thinking who cares if they guarantee it or not as long as they are gone lol. Good night and good luck :)